“I Like You, I Like You Not, I Like You A Lot!”

Have you ever experienced liking someone but you shouldn’t because you’re friends?

Well I did. When I met you.

I LIKE YOU.

I still remember the first time I saw you. It was really your smile that took my breath away, I told myself that I am too old for this, but yeah, it was just a “silly crush” anyway so why not right?

And then it happened. We became FRIENDS. I never really wanted to be your friend, because becoming your friend means you are officially “off-limits”. We became really close, like I can actually tell you everything! Except of course that I have a crush on you. As the days passes by, after almost spending everyday with you, I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t really like you that much but what amazed me is that the more I try to stop? The deeper I think I’m falling for you. I think it is really true that the more we hide our feelings for someone, the more we fall for that person.

Image from Wiki

My friends kept on telling me that I should tell you what I feel. And a lot of times I almost did but I didn’t. You know why? Because I know that you don’t feel the same. And maybe, you will never feel the same.

I LIKE YOU NOT.

Then I decided that I should stop liking you more than I should. I mean we are friends and I know that my feelings will just ruin everything, and I don’t want that to happen. I remember you used to ask me who is the person I have a crush on and then I will just laugh and tell you it’s no one but you just don’t know how hard I tried to keep myself from saying that it is YOU! (lol).

I even recalled that I made a song for you and the title was “Kakalimutan ko na, Kakalimutan na Kita” (I Will Forget, I Will Forget You). On the same day that I composed the lyrics of that song, that was also the same day I decided to forget what I feel for you. And if you will just listen closely and pay attention to the lyrics it was me saying all the things I want to tell you but I can’t.

I decided to stop liking you because I know that no matter how I try, you will never like me the way that I do, because if you did, you will be with me, you will choose me. We will never be “just friends”.

I saw how you flirted with those girls who likes you and I was hurt. I was jealous. And I know I shouldn’t. You’re not even mine. But I wish you were. And you will never be.

Image from Pinterest

I LIKE YOU A LOT

I’m not sure if you still remember when we took a GRABSHARE home and we are sharing it with another rider but I recalled that moment you got off the car and said goodbye to me, I remember very clearly how I just watched your back and told the stranger beside me “You know what? I really like him a lot!”. And then it hits me. I like you, like a lot. I even asked myself :”Why do I like you?” I mean you are not “the prince charming” I always dreamt of, not even close. But you are so cute when you smile. You appreciate me as me. It’s like I can be me whenever you are around. You were always proud of I do. You make me feel beautiful even on my darkest days. You make me want to be a better version of myself just by reminding me that I can do more.

I LIKE YOU because you made me realized that I’m still capable of liking someone after everything I’ve been through.

I LIKE YOU NOT not because you are not likeable or because you are not worth liking but because you are worth it and I’m not.

I LIKE YOU A LOT because I’m hurting just by seeing you everyday and at the same time missing you whenever you are not around. I like the way you hold my hand whenever we cross the street and letting it go afterwards. It’s like teaching me that we may not always get what we wanted most of the times but little moments like that still counts.

Image from Google

So here I am. I accepted the fact that you and I will never be more than just friends not because I don’t like you anymore, but because I do. I told myself that if being your friend is the only way to keep you forever then so be it.

Will I ever tell you how feel? I’m not sure. There’s one thing I’m certain though : You were not my first heartbreak, but you were the deepest. Maybe because our story ended and you didn’t even know it started.

It’s just me. You don’t have to know. I’ll be over it. Maybe not now, but soon.

“Liking someone doesn’t mean you have to be lovers, sometime’s you just have to be friends.”

-the night-shifter.

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